1. It was meant to be a recovery run anyway
= Im a liar.

2. Legs were just empty today
= I heard someone say that once.

3. Can still feel last weeks race in my legs
= Not even I know what I am on about.

4. Think I did too much running at the kids party this morning
= I was sat on my fat ass eating wotsits and cake at 10am

5. Must be coming down with something
= Yeah lazyfuckingitis

6. GPS jumping all over the place
= I cant even stop to take a piss without pausing my watch

7. Just wasn’t feeling it
= Have you ever?

8. Strong headwind on the way back
= I spunked it in the first half
(credit: Lee Shannon)

9. First run back, felt sluggish so work to do and need to lose a few pounds
= I may aswell copy & paste this every few months

10. Mowing the Lawn
= I hope a burglar sees this.

11. Back to the drawing board
= I mean sofa for three months

12. Protecting my niggle
= Just couldnt be arsed

13. 10.0 km training run
= I ran around the car park three times at the end

14. Finally got my first crown
= Built my own segment

15. BootCamp/Spin Class/Zumba
= Wanker

16. Musn’t have fuelled properly
=Indian Takeaway and beer isn’t great the night before a run

17. Tempothresholdfartlek run
= Trying to remember what that decent runner I follow calls their run

18. Big shop at the supermarket
= Massive wanker

19. Running off all the alcohol
= Going to sink more tonight.

20. Was meant to be 2 hours but kept going for
= I hate my home life.

21. Not my usual pace
= Didn’t get in the car drive off for a km before stopping my watch

22.Even splits
= Im a boring fucker

23. Would have Parkrun PBd if it wasn’t for the dogs/buggies/kids/squirrels
= Would have Parkrun PBd if I did more running than just parkrun.

24. Watch failed for last few miles
= I failed the last few miles and went to Starbucks instead

25. Testing out the new watch
= Please everyone ask me which one….please!

26. Just taking Mary from work out for her first run
= Mary fucking hates me but has given in after months of moidering and just hopes I slip and fall under a bus.

27. Think I wore the wrong shoes
= I was born with the wrong legs

28. Devasted because watch told me it was 13.1 miles but STRAVA says 13.2 ,will email the organiser as soon as i get home.
= Im a twat

29. Running? more like swimming
= People will think I am some kinda ex SAS.

30. kfjfks skskd dk
= Im that desperate to write something about my run I tried doing it while still running.

31. Moving Time 5:21 hrs
= Actual Race Finish Time 9:34

32. OMG! Hills, Hills, Hills.
= Southerner


PS. Feel free to own up below or comment with your own.