1. Nobody asks you what time you did it in when you bang on about how far the race is.
2. You suddenly feel its acceptable to take a shit in front of complete strangers.
3. It sounds good telling people you ran an ultra marathon when really you walked more than 50% of it.
4. They are cheaper than a weekend at London Marathon.
5. People just think that DNF’ ing an Ultra is bad luck…..not that you fucked it up.
6. The medals are bigger.
7. Less tossers than road running.
8. You think you can eat as much as you want and never get fat.
9. Nobody will ask you how far your Marathon is.
10. It means you get to write a boring as fuck blog that everyone will love.
11. If you have done 50 miles in 18 hours it automatically makes you better than a sub 3 hour marathon runner.
13. You just weren’t built to run fast….apparently.
14. Everyone loves you banging on about reading ‘Born To Run’
15. It means you are an instant expert in all things running as soon as you cross the finish line.
16. Never have to dodge buggies and dogs at ParkRun again.
17. That £500+ watch is finally justified………
18. Who wants to neck gels on the move when you could sit on a camping chair nursing a pot noodle
19. Telling people you finished in the top 50 (out of 60) is way better than finishing 897th.
20. People at work are intimidated by you.
21. You get to set up an ‘athlete page’ on Facebook.
22. It makes you do a little wee with excitement every time someone mentions they ‘run a bit’ when you with strangers.
23. Runners World can finally go in the bin.
24. I can stop for a coffee WHILE I am in a race?
25. Everyone loves hearing about your grotty fucking trotters.
26. The further you go, the slower you go.
27. There is less chance of you being overtaken by a geezer tossing a pancake while running backwards dressed as a giraffe.
28. Meditation and yoga is easier than fartleks and tempo runs.
PS. I could have hit 100 quite easily but I was worried that I might look like I am taking the piss
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